Small Ocean
by Neco-Arc
Summary: It's hard to channel your emotions when the world is changing around you. Lucina reflects the values of family and fate on her first sea voyage. Lucina One-Shot.


A/N: Lucina has a lot to deal with and I just felt so many emotions I had to put them in words...might write more if I have another burst of empathy for Lucina. R&R!

* * *

It was heartbreaking.

Everything had been within the past three years.

Lucina clutched her arms, rubbing them to warm herself against the cold chill of the maritime breeze. It was her first time at sea. The sky above them hovered grey and tinged with salt, the ship moving swiftly -albeit unsteady- against the choppy seas. It was comforting to see both her father and mother together, so much younger than she remembered, by the edge of the vessel. They were quietly chatting, possibly anything to distract them from the rocking of the boat. Her father's face was always an easy read; she could tell he wasn't taking a liking to life at sea. Her mother smiled as they chatted, but every once in awhile she noted Robin bring her hand to her temple as if to sooth a headache. The sight made her anxious to help, it seemed to be more than simple seasickness. At that moment, something funny must have been said among them, for they both broke out in muffled laughter. The sight caused Lucina to smile, it was simple things like this that made her the happiest.

Still, why did she still feel so alone?

Her feet would not move to join them. Her lips would not part from more than a smile to question what amused them. The cold wind continued to run through her hair and she clutched her arms tighter.

_I don't belong here._

It was the same thought that assaulted her for the past three years she had been hiding in this world. She'd felt guilty for every kind person that approached her, wrong to accept their charity. Everything that didn't have to do with changing the main events of her future, she felt apprehensive about. 'Making a few friends in this time wouldn't change anything,' she kept telling herself, but even the smallest chance that it could scared her more than anything.

This was her only chance to change her fate, and she would make sure there would be no regrets.

It wasn't the quality of life she had once been used to, but she had become quite the expert at living with the forest. Every now and then, she would visit a rural inn or village, trading what she could to repair clothes and weapons. Occasionally, she would make a good kill in the forest and bring it a pub to request a soup be made from it. Those were the highlights of the past years, watching the laughter and warmth of the villagers at the inns she visited occasionally. As usual, she would blend into the shadows away from the mirth and from possible curiosity. After three years of perfecting such an art, it was now second nature and hard to break.

Now it was even difficult to connect to her parents. Watching would be enough in these scenarios, right? Their happiness made her the warmest. Having her included in it made her volatile. The slightest touch of her mother's hand on her shoulder made her throat tighten and her kind words were enough to make her cry afterwards. The same with her father, though she felt as if her first breakdown and her existence in general made their relationship slightly awkward. Since she last confronted them two years ago, she wondered at what memories and bonds she had lost with her parents by not confessing her identity earlier. Would time really have been altered for the worse? She kept repeating to herself that it would. Her prudence would pay off. '_The instant gratification isn't worth it,'_ she would tell herself, _'I will create a future where everyone is happy…I did not come from the future to live in the present.'_

With this statement the same jarring thought that almost came daily resurfaced.

_What will happen to me when this is over?_

There was her, and then there was the present Lucina. Time traveling wasn't something she fully understood, and she had lost countless hours of sleep wondering what rules governed this magic. On top of that, she wondered were her friends were and if she had been wrong to mention their existence altogether. On top of that, there was Morgan. On that topic, she had many sleepless and panicked nights that began with worried thinking and then evolved into pointless and desperate searches. Since she first arrived in the past, she had not had a single lead to where her brother was. He was resourceful and intelligent, but he was also naïve and dependent. More than once before they boarded the Plegian ship, she had wanted to tell her parents about her brother, believing that maybe a Ylissian scout may have come across him before. The thought was a double-edged sword in her thoughts. The search could take time, and time was of the essence. She remembered seeing her aunt fall on that fated day two years ago, and remembered what the family of the exalt valued the most- their people. She convinced herself that Morgan's safety would be a sacrifice for a future that was still not set in stone, and yet…

She winced, returning back to reality from her reviere. The pain had come from her arms, apparently she had been gripping them too hard. She sniffed, brushing her hand past her face to brush away a few wind-blown strands of hair out of her eyes.

"Lucina, are you alright?" It was her mother's voice she heard, but when she turned to where she remembered them standing, her vision was blurred. Lucina wiped at her eyes again.

"It's…"

_It's nothing._

"Lucina?" It was her father's voice this time. The lump had risen to her throat as she desperately tried to articulate her words and wipe her eyes at the same time.

"I…."

_I'm fine. Don't let me bother you. I'll be alright._

The warm touch of an embrace encompassed her as she felt herself pressed against her mother. She slackened as the lump in her throat pushed forward in sobs that should have been words, words that would have truly been lies. How could she be strong when something so simple as reassuring words and affection were such as a weakness? The tears didn't stop, her face still buried against her mother's clothes in violent sobs.

_I must be strong for you. I can't lose this again._


End file.
